To anyone who Googled "Fire Joe Morgan" and found this:
1) Why are you Googling "Fire Joe Morgan"? You can just go to firejoemorgan.com.
2) Why are you Googling "Fire Joe Morgan"? It's a defunct website that last updated 6+ years ago.
3) Oh boy, more page views for me!
Let me explain.
My name is Blees, and I'm trying to figure my life out. I'm good at a lot of things, but I still don't know what I'm going to be truly great at. There are a few things I like: humor, quality video games, and sports. These things don't often overlap, so it's been hard to find that one single thing that can keep me busy while I go back to school again. A note: going back to college is the weirdest feeling in the world. It's like that dream where you have a test that you forgot about became reality, and you're a pair of missing pants away from the biggest cliche ever.
So like many people on the Internet, I frequent the Gawker Media sites, since by their powers combined, I can find some kind of sports, video games, and humor (citation needed). I spent most of my time on these sites while I was working in phone support, a.k.a. sit there for 40 hours in front of a computer and pretend to look busy, possibly by reading news sites. Anyways, I've ingested approximately 2 years of Deadspin, which is why it was odd for me to finally see a reference to Fire Joe Morgan on the site after all that time.
It turns out that FJM is the writing style I had been seeing for 2 years and wondering where to learn this particular style of wit. FJM was, and still is, a textbook example of fisking, or the blogging art of taking an article or comment and, sentence by sentence, pedantically and hilariously tearing their argument to shreds, utilizing humor and facts as easily as Master Chief wielded two needlers before Halo 4 had its weapons audited by the No Fun Patrol. These guys weren't documented experts in the field of sports. Sure, they were huge fans, and it was clear that they understood statistics. They also understood that professional writers have agendas, and if you can wade through the filter, you can see the article they should have written, and then FJM wrote that article for them.
So that's where I'm at. I am a huge fan of video games, and I understand statistics. I know that understand statistics because I once looked at some numbers between 1 and 10 and accurately identified numbers that were lower than 5, which means I am overqualified to review games on IGN. Also, since this is a blog, I need to have a modest means of income. If you aren't a blogger, that means that my parents need a modest means of income, since all bloggers live in their parent's basement. I am overqualified in this department, because I have moved to the presidential suite of my parent's main floor. I'm sure I can get myself in the "basement" mindset, though.
One last set of serious in this article. I am going to write a lot of hilarious, possibly factual and hopefully helpful nonsense about other people's writing on this blog. I may, from time to time, write original hilarious, possibly factual and hopefully helpful nonsense. However, when the powers-that-be descend from high Olympus and deem me worthy of getting page views, I want to have a record here of actually intelligent people who talk about video games and have inspired me to talk about video games. This list may expand, and I may lampoon them once or twice, but these guys are the bee's badonkadonk.
Zero Punctuation
Foul-mouthed limey prick who utilizes one or more punctuation. Despite the uninformative title, his weekly video reviews are quite funny, and he is always looking for whether games are worth playing. Not the games with the most things to do in multi-player, or the game that is the most fun, but the games that try to give gaming a good name, until Mortal Kombat rips a woman's tits off and offers them to Dead Space as a wedding gift.
Extra Credits
These assholes think that, just because they make games, it qualifies them to talk about what makes games good, and how to make good games. It turns out that they are, in fact, very good at talking about what makes games good. Who'd-a thunk?
Tune in when I find time to update again, when I find some idiot on the internet and tell him why he's an idiot.
